Grrrr

I am beginning to develop a strong dislike towards my therapist. In my head I have Christened him The Dildo because he just sits there all pink and placid and inanimate. He doesn't even say hello when I go into the room, just sort of raises his eyebrows. I said this - not the dildo bit, but that it wasn't very easy for me to just start talking when he barely even acknowledges I have arrived. Of course he made it all about me and my being 'distanced' and alienated from myself and that finding the reception cold was similar to the cold way I regarded myself. I was like 'No dude, it's just rude' - in my head. I haven't found anything he has said particularly useful or insightful thus far. Yes I may be 'cruel' and 'monstrous' and 'vicious' but I'm like 'I already know I hate myself' - in my head. I hate his face. Seriously. I have to go again this evening and then I am seeing my key-worker tomorrow so I can at least ask her advice about this. I have been self medicating with: Gloves and hats - it's freeing