So I went to the dermo clinic about my scars. Honestly, after several months wait for the appointment and an hours journey each way I was in there all of 5 minutes. The doctor was more interested in taking photos of my scars for teaching purposes than telling me anything. It's ok, I get doctors need to learn but he started pulling at my bra and clothes to expose more scars for his photos without asking or, you know, actually just asking would have been good. I have some tape to put over them which should flatten them a bit but ffs, this is something the GP could have prescribed in the first instance, no wonder the NHS is running out of cash if they waste it this way. And I had to ask how long it might take, what kinds of results I might expect, all the kinds of things the fucker should have told me. He dictated my discharge letter while I was sitting there. Jesus. First week at Uni has been hard. Not the stuff itself but the anticipation. Went and cried to my CPN. Just trying to carry on carrying on. It's the seemingly simple things that get me. Sitting in the room while someone talks getting more and more anxious until I am so tense it is physically painful and mentally agonising. And we are meant to have lunch together afterwards which I hate because... on my Masters there were people who were a bit more like me, a bit different. People who wouldn't blanch if you said fuck or porn or would look at you like you were crazy if they hadn't heard of a musician you liked. Most of these people come across as bland, straight laced, generic well to do uninspiring... one of them was wearing shoes with kitten heels y'know? One woman who is doing full time with me I do like, she seems to have a bit of spunk (wish I could think of a better word) but mainly it is a bit disappointing the environment. It doesn't feel like anyone is going to say anything even vaguely dangerous or intellectually risky. Maybe I am just being a cunt? I'm sure I come across as boring... but I don't want to make small talk, where do you live, do you like it blah blah I want to talk about Human Centipede 2 being passed by the BBFC or Batman. I just want to talk about Batman. I have been self medicating with: One week down.