Mobile phoney

This is one of the most insulting things I have heard recently Bridgend Suicides linked to mobile phone masts.

The spate of suicides at Bridgend is a serious and probably complex social phenomenon. To turn it into anti mobile phone propaganda is scandalous.

The 'expert' behind these claims Dr Roger Coghill can also sell you the Coghill super magnet

Guess what, they also cause AIDS

Shucks - everyone knows being gay gives you AIDS.

I have been self medicating with: Putting a condom on my mobile

Wii-fit the rematch

People with Aspergers are meant to be clumsy and uncoordinated. So what happens when you put on on Wii Fit? Teh lulz!

Jakey entertained me muchly especially doing the hula hoop - he seems to have a different awareness of his body than other folk do and has no idea how to rotate his hips. He was good at the step aerobics though because he has an excellent sense of timing. Except he has to STAMP! rather than step.

When he got on Wiifii was like 'Your weight sees to have changed a little since the last time?'
No shit.
If you gain weight it asks you for an excuse reason. There are no options for eating disordered people. You can't select 'Did not rinse properly' or 'Drank 8 litres of diet coke'. You also can't set your goal BMI to 13. Wiifii phails at inclusivity. People with mental health issues want to play too!

I have been self medicating with: OPI - Russian Navy

Wii fat

So I got Wii Fit. I stand on it this morning and it gives me the thumbs up:
'You've lost 3lbs since yesterday!
'Ha ha' I think 'Tricked you'
'But...' it says 'Yesterday you did the body test at 4:45 - did you know your weight can fluctuate by up to 2.2lbs over the course of the day?'
'Do you know who you're talking to - of course I know that - the interesting thing is that you know it - cheeky fucker'

I am apparently fuckinA at Yoga and suck balls at strength exercises. Half the problem is trying to work out what it's asking you to do. More of the problem is when you see a little red dot in a yellow circle which you are meant to keep as still as possible, you immediately want to wiggle.

It's pretty good though. There is something for everyone, even the most couchy or couch potatoes. I'm not sure it would do much as my only form of exercise, but were I mostly sedentary using it might fitten me up a bit. Plus you get to run after a puppy - win =)

My Wii fit age is the same as my actual age today because I done good at standing one one leg. Lulz.

Jakey surpassed himself in laziness and feigned incompetence yesterday by complaining the laptop was saying it wasn't plugged in. Well duh - check the socket?!

I have been self medicating with: The cats like sitting on the balance board also.

Film Friday again

Shark water
Don't kid yourself. This doc isn't actually about sharks it's about Rob Stewart who made it. Some of the footage is gorgeous (but a lot of it is bloody horrible) however the voice over is contrived and the views it expresses horribly dated. We've heard the 'Sharks aren't evil like in Jaws' thing over and over again since - well Jaws. Get with the programme dude, we get it, other stuff is more dangerous. I think the guy must have been living in a cave, albeit a very pretty underwater cave, for the last few decades. Making statements like 'They can sense our energy' as though chatting in a new age shop doesn't add credibility either. And that;s just the opening segment.

What we get next is aren't you a nice Mr Stewart going round freeing Sharks and claiming it 'Feels like part of your family is dying' when you see dead ones - I just threw up a bit in my mouth and spat it in the ocean. This guy pisses about like her owns the sea and is the only person who knows the difference between right and wrong. Arrogant, massively offensive and annoying. I'm really not into going to other countries to teach the savages how to behave. It makes me sick. It's actually kinda racist - which I think is worst the being sharkist personally.

Untraceable
Killings on the intertubez in this excellent and disturbing horror film. The levels of gruesome achieved might kids you into believing this is a Saw/Hostel deal. It's not, it's thought provoking and handles the gristly unpleasant subject matter responsibly. It's a real skill in a movie to make something horrible enough to feek you the hell out but not so awful you can't engage and hence cease to care.
Untraceable finds the exact magic spot and squeezes it. Brilliant.

Re-animator
This one has a cult following which doesn't include me. Just because of film calls for camp or OTT acting doesn't mean there is no skill required. There was a 10 or 15 minute burst of zombie fun towards the end but otherwise I found it dull and formulaic. Sorreh.

Je suis Pierre Riviere
Morbid and quite upsetting French film about a boy who kills his Mother and 2 siblings. Immensely gross sucking puss from nipple scene that made me throw up in my mouth a lot. Not to be watched for fun but raises some interesting questions - how do we define madness or mental illness? How does this effect the way we judge a persons acts and deeds? Would you suck puss from the nipples of the person you loved?

Jaws
Jaws is the daddy of shark films. Jaws is fantastic, brilliant and 99% perfect. My only complaint is the mother of the child who gets nommed is irritating and I feel secretly pleased her son gets munched. All the acting is superb, the characterisation meaty and you can't help jumping out of your skin even though you know 'that moment' is coming. I could watch it everyday and enjoy it.

I have been self medicating with: Wii Fit

Weight a minute

WTF???
I just saw this in Tesco BOGOF offer. You've got to be kidding right? Skinny Water??? Apparently "The unique formula combining L-Carnitine and Chromium assists natural fat burning and helps reduce sugar cravings."

L-Carnitine according to this source "has been marketed as a weight loss supplement, there is no scientific evidence to date to show that it improves weight loss. A recent study of moderately overweight women found that L-carnitine did not significantly alter body weight, body fat, or lean body mass. Based on the results of this one small study, claims that L-carnitine helps reduce weight are not supported at this time"

This one says it does Bugger all No spunky benefits either.

Also:
VillaniRG, Gannon J, Self M, Rich PA. L-Carnitine supplementation combined with aerobictraining does not promote weight loss in moderately obese women. Int J SportNutrExerc Metab 2000;10:199–207

Chromium seems just as useful and apparently "a recent review of 24 studies that examined the effects of 200 to 1,000 mcg/day of chromium (in the form of chromium picolinate) on body mass or composition found no significant benefits" Vincent JB. The potential value and toxicity of chromium picolinate as a nutritional supplement, weight loss agent and muscle development agent. Sports Med 2003;33:213-30.

I have been self medicating with: Fatty water!

I sea you

I love sharks. I tend to be most interested in the things I am most terrified of. Hence the deep blue sea, cave diving, free diving, shark obsession.
We watched Jaws the other night. Then I stayed up to read the book. It is one of those rare instances where the film is better than the book (along with anything by Agatha Christie and the Nightwatch and Daywatch series which might have something to do with the translation of the novels who knows?)
This is not to say the book is bad - just that the film is almost perfect.
The next night I stayed up reading Meg which is a really good page turning laugh.

Because of this obsession I have watched Shark attack and Shark attack 2 and Shark attack 3 all of which are utter crap. I also endured Saffron Burrows (who as Jakey says is looking increasingly like an ostrich) in Deep Blue Sea the rest of the film is pretty good in a does what It says in the tin way. Finally I watched and enjoyed for the most part Into the Blue which stars Jessica Alba. I have said this before. Jessica Alba has a perfect body, too perfect even, but the face of a frog being raped.

Even I couldn't finish Red Water in which Coolio proves he is anything but. But I quite liked Blood Surf



I have been self medicating with:
The Darkness Beckons: History And Development Of Cave Diving by Martyn Farr which is fascinating.

Opera junkie

Recently I have been to see Lucia di Lammermoor and Der Rosenkavalier both curtisy of the ENO

Lucia I loved. Anna Christy in the title role was tiny and sang beautifuly with an innocence and youth fitting the role and production perfectly. The opera is famous for it's 'mad scene' but having never heard Bel Canto singing before I found her first aria quite staggering. The production itself was heavy on the menacing and creepiness with a large dollop of incest and lots of blood.

Der Rosenkavalier I enjoyed but it was long. The first act felt rather unneccessary and it was hard to have sympathy for the Queen who should have known better and her young lover who afterall were both cheating and sneaking about. Sarah Connelly was on good form as expected and John Tomlinson was funny however the whole piece seemed to lack any directorial innovation which would have allowed such performers to really shine. Janice Cairns however was horrific and sang like an old turkey as my Dad kindly described her.

I have been self medicating with:
Lucia di Lammermoor - Lucia sung by Maria Callas


Callas a Portrait

Psychological services phail

So I had a response from my poor suffering CPN who suggested, wait for it, trying the DBT clinic again.

As Jakey pointed out this is somewhat like the Ireland situation
Ireland are like 'No' and the EU are like 'Weeeeeell what about we switch it up a bit, howz that sit with you?'
'It's the same thing'
'Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell how bout you vote again - come on you know you wanna'
'...'
'You might get it right if you vote again ey?'
'Which part of NO do you not understand the N or the O?'
'How about we have a nice cup of tea and some Hobnobs and talk this over?'
'WTF?'
'Well you're obviously completely crazy and too busy fucking leprechauns or you'd get what we are saying'

So I asked for a referral to the individual psychotherapy clinic that purports to treat folk with BPD. Hopefully that will be done so at least they can reject me based on what I say not third hand accounts from psychologists who have made up their minds already.

I have been self medicating with:

see Obama pictures


see Obama pictures